TOOL NEWSLETTER,
OCTOBER, 2005 e.v.


For Harper Reilly Follen, a new Tool fan who arrived at 10:09 PM on Sept. 28th

Here are a few photos from the October 12th chat/party that I helped put together for members of the Tool 'Collective.' This was the fans chance to ask the band members THEMSELVES questions pertaining to the new record, including the release date, album name, song titles, etc., or questions about a live DVD to be released at some future date, or about any dates for upcoming tours, or anything else they had questions about (save for Justin's new bass guitar strap; he wasn't able to make the event). Not to beat a dead horse (or it's headless rider), but after the transcripts are posted, the one thing that should become very apparent to all is that, once such specifics are 'set in stone', any information related to the band and their various projects gets posted on Tool's official sites when the band members and their manager want it to be made available (except for that which I've 'hidden' in seemingly unrelated posts, and which will probably only become evident once the record is released). In the meantime, keep digging (if you're the type that needs to know these things before the rest of the crowd); some have already done quite well in their findings as is evident from their email and astute ponderings on the message boards.

THE FIRST ANNUAL TOOL CHAT 'HOAX' HOAX

Well, it seems that there is always at least one skunk at every tea-party. After the chat, someone took the time and energy to post superfluous chat logs which 'proved' that the whole thing was fabricated by the TA administrators in order to increase the sales of the signed copies of the Lateralus vinyl (just think about the logic of that!). This person claimed to have hacked into the chat in order to spy on the administrators but, in actuality, the room he entered was merely a staging area open to anyone ... except Jesus. Anyway, it didn't take too long (nor a "Deep Throat") for the perpetrator of the "hoax" hoax to come forward and admit that this was all his idea of a practical joke, but not before a lot of people verbally lashed out at the Tool Camp for "cheating their most loyal followers." I recently received an apology from the person who claimed to have started the controversy, and, although I'm not going to post it, I will only say that the tone of the email reminded me at times (with statements like: "I care not for signed vinyl, or other material objects that cost money") of a mini Theodore Kaczynski manifesto. By the way, who put a gun to anyone's head to make them buy vinyl? According to the email, this person's intension was not to discredit Tool, but to discredit "blind loyalties" by raising doubt among the band's devoted fan base. (some of whom were so quick to crucify the band!). However, the fact remains that the 'hoax' hoax was an attack on the band and their musician friends, as well as the TA administrators, and... and... Oh, fuck it, let's go have a look at that Sierra...

Not so fast, I think I have a better solution! Since Halloween/Samhain is right around the corner, perhaps you - the perpetrator of the 'hoax' hoax - should be properly 'corned' (not scorned) by members of the TA. Now, by corned, I'm NOT suggesting that, in following an old Midwest custom, TA members in that region should raid the local farmers cornfields (always a dangerous undertaking), fill up brown paper grocery bags with as many dried-up ears as they can transport, laboriously shuck the ears away from one's nosy progenitors, thus obtaining their precious ammo, go out on a school night and, with the fall of reddish-brown leaf in the bluish smoke of Autumn fires, pelt the windows of his house (in this case, possibly some make-shift cabin in the woods of Montana or elsewhere) with handfuls of the, hopefully, particularly hard kernels of nerve-shattering corn (yes, in case you're wondering, we were the kind of kids that put rocks inside our winter snowballs - another seasonal misdoing). On second thought, maybe it's those Tool fans who were so fast to crucify the band that should be corned (again, a mild form of juvenile delinquency [especially on school nights] along the lines of egging houses, soaping windows, smashing pumpkins [and there was always at least one Lt. Calley among us], paper-bag/dog-shit pyrotechnics, and festooning the denuded Autumn trees with rolls of toilet paper. For the perpetrator of the 'hoax' hoax might have made a point (I mean, since when has a member of the band ever pulled a hoax?). .. so... so... oh fuck it, let's go have a look at that Sierra...

FROM CHAT TO CHET: CHET ZAR NEW BLOOD SHOW

Adam's good friend, and no stranger to most Tool enthusiasts, CHET ZAR is going to have a major art show at the prestigious COPRONASON GALLERY at Bergamot Station here in Los Angeles during the month of November. Chet has spent the last six months preparing new paintings for the "New Blood" Show, including some bigger pieces then those that he's previously displayed in the underground art scene. According to Chet, the term "new blood" implies "new and up and coming artists in the underground/low brow art scene", and joining Chet for the show are two other exceptionally gifted artists, POOCH and DAN QUINTANA, both of whom Chet is excited to be associated with. Those interested can check out Chet's websites: www.chetzar.com (including the web flyer at http://www.chetzar.com/newblood.html) and his Myspace page at http://myspace.com/chetzar.

For the rest of you, the NEW BLOOD SHOW featuring the art of CHET ZAR is located at the COPRONASON GALLERY (www.copronason.com) at BERGAMOT STATION, 2525 Michigan Ave T5, Santa Monica, CA. 90404 (310-829-2156).

The artist reception is SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 5th (8:00 - 11:30 PM) and the NEW BLOOD SHOW runs until Nov. 26.

EMAIL SUBJECT: STAG BEER

"STAG Beer or Steak Taters And Gravy as it is affectionately referred to in my state (the location of said state I shall not name, but as you can probably assume from the nickname given to the beer, said state lies well below the mason Dixon) but anyways my complaint lies in the fact you put this beer in the same group as Coors (which by the way has some interesting ties to a important Right interest group who hired Dick Cheney's daughter (who is gay) to turn around its homophobic image (Castlerock is its name and its where a lot of Coors money goes). Coors is piss in a can, and STAG (which won best Lager 1998) is a fine beer I wouldn't say it was the best but I would put it in the same category as lets say Pabst Blue Ribbon (Which has won several awards) One of the best beers (Top 5 on Beer.com) is made by a certain group of European monks (I will not mention their name as they do like to advertise) This beer is sold for about 35 bucks a case and is extremely rare hard to find due to the low amount of production (the monks dislike profitability) So stick to bashing beers like bud light, and coors ... or how could you forget Natural light if you are talking about shitty beers (we use it to kill rodents of an extremely large sizes) Try a warm STAG maybe it will suit you better ... "

AND THE REPLY:

A warm Stag, huh... Below the Mason Dixon line, you say... well, where I grew up in the Midwest, we had this saying: I'd rather have a warm Busch then a cold Hennie... but a warm Stag... does someone have to hold it by the horns? And as for the monk's special brew, I'm fairly sure that it's ratebeer.com that featured the Abby of St. Sixtus of Westvleterern, and their cases of Belgian Westvleteren 12 at about $33.00 each (shit, I could get 3 Budweisers at Dodger Stadium for that price). Actually, I've tried it, and it's very good, but the dark black "Subterranean" beer from a certain micro-brewery in San Francisco was even better, and much more potent. Unfortunately, I don't remember its name.


Halloween Barbie™ says hopefully there will be something in the pumpkin patch soon

HAPPY TRAILS

BLAIR
JUSTIN
DANNY
MAYNARD
ADAM

Chat Party Photos by Camella Grace


 
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