TOOL NEWSLETTER
MARCH 2014, E.V.


With the latest mini-tour now a thing of the past, members of the band will continue working on material for their next record after taking a short break in order to unpack and sort through their mail. I say “continue” because – contrary to those who thought that the tour would only further delay the writing process -with all four band members together during sound checks, catering, etc., I’m fairly certain that they spent a considerable portion of that time experimenting with new tunes. In which case, the tour might have actually sped things up a bit. But then again, this snifter of cognac is half full…

Besides writing and arranging new songs, there is one other Tool project that was in the works prior to the tour that I will update you on should I hear anything (Yep, the so-called “curve ball.”) Likewise with another item of interest to both Tool fans and drummers in general that I will post in the news section once I receive more details.

As far as I know, there is nothing else to report at this time except that DANNY will be performing with VOLTO! at THE MINT here in L.A. on SATURDAY, APRIL 19th. Prior to that he will be playing his gig with THE WEBB ALLSTARS at the BAKED POTATO in STUDIO CITY on SUNDAY, APRIL 6.

Now that you are all ‘caught up’ and your head is spinning from certain revelations, here are some of my notes from the tour, including a number of shows that I didn’t go to:

SPOKANE, WASHINGTON

Didn’t go to Spokane, mainly due to the menacing presence of Hobo spiders in the Pacific Northwest. As I’ve mentioned on numerous occasions, these aggressive things with their ever so tiny harmonicas have been riding the rails south (and east) since at least the 1980s, though there have still not yet been any verified sightings of them in northern California, where we have plenty of sticky traps placed along the border.

PORTLAND, OREGON

Although I’ve got nothing against schpaghetti and meatballs on my Schmizza, or Fruit Loops on a doughnut, or doughnuts on my Schmeezy bread for that matter, this arachnophobe knows all too well that Tegenaria agrestis (not a local metal band) is firmly entrenched in Portlandia. So, no Tool show there either.

EUGENE, OREGON Nope. I don’t mind drum-tumblers on electric Kool-Aid, but I sure as heck wouldn’t want to blunder into the web of any of the weaving monstrosities there, despite any hippy-types with Captain Crunch on their stale doughnuts downplaying their venomous bites.

RENO, NEVADA

Without any personal security guard to keep away any dudes with plastic army soldiers stuffed in their pockets, I sent my BMB decoy-double to check out the show in Reno. This seemed apropos as I believe it was way back when at a Tool show in the Biggest Little City in the World that the band’s shiny brand new decoy buses and carefully selected look-alikes were first discovered by a fan who managed to elude security and make it to the backstage area, asking Danny and Justin if they’d seen any band members while warning about decoys. However, as of writing this, I haven’t heard from him (my decoy-double, that is), and I am beginning to suspect the worse. Then again, the cognac snifter remains half empty…

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA

It should go without saying that I attended the San Francisco show. Here are some notes: Best hotel with psychedelic furnishings (Alice in Wonderland meets the Jetsons cartoon décor)? The Best Western Plus Americana on Mission and 7th. Best place to get a burrito? La Taqueria on Mission and 25th. Best place to see a homeless person lying in a puddle of urine with a laptop computer on their sleeping bag? On Mission Street walking to get a burrito. Best place to view a termite’s anatomy whist on ‘shrooms? The Exploratorium Museum of Science, Art, and Human Perception at Pier 15/17. Best place to watch the five-alarm Mission Bay fire while sipping a $7.00 Budweiser? The View Lounge atop the Marriott Marquis. Best place to meet up with Danny and Adam to have some cocktails on the night before the first Tool show in S.F.? The Lounge in the Ritz Carlton on Nob Hill. Best place to puff on a thin cigar? Maybe at the charred remains of the apartment building under construction in Mission Bay, but probably NOWHERE in S.F., where even the homeless lying in their puddles of urine complained about the smoke. Best place to watch the Tool show? Standing by Junior at the Front of House… until some members of Metallica (?) came and stood right in front of me. Best place to get some sleep right after the first Tool show in S.F after having earlier walked from Mission and 7th to Mission and 25th to eat a burrito at 57 years of age? The comfortable bed at the Best Western Plus Americana (though there is a separate tax for comfort in S.F. and the nearby street people make noises like beshroomed mating hyenas until the wee hours).

FRESNO, CALIFORNIA (?)

For the Fresno show I went in disguise without telling ANYONE that I would be there. While watching the band amongst the crowd in a vintage “RaisinEaters” jersey, many Tool fans asked me why I had a picture of the “Bob’s Big Boy” guy catching raisins with a baseball glove on my tee-shirt? Enough said…

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA

Went to a paperback book fair in Glendale instead. Good choice, too (even though I didn’t find anything), because I probably would have got caught by security trying to record the elite meet and greet (and then tweet) after some other guy days before posted his recording on-line that resulted in beefed up security and spoilers for others!

LAS VEGAS, THE CENTER OF CIVILIZATION

What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas… other than STDs that itch of course. (Ba-da-Bing on a Mandala pad!)

SOMEWHERE IN MEXICO

Didn’t renew my passport, so no Mexico festival.

AUSTIN, TEXAS

Nope. Though I’m sure I would have loved having Stubb’s barbeque rub on my cronuts, not to mention a motorized armadillo taking me right to the venue! But what about all the bats!

HOUSTON, TEXAS

LaraLee moved here five years ago… so no more Houston shows or half-price books (unless the ground keeps shaking).

PHOENIX, ARIZONA

Great show with but a few clams and no giant Arizona crab spiders biting my feet. Also nice to see some old friends afterwards, and drink a few free beers from the rider.

Nope. I don’t mind drum-tumblers on electric Kool-Aid, but I sure as heck wouldn’t want to blunder into the web of any of the weaving monstrosities there, despite any hippy-types with Captain Crunch on their stale doughnuts downplaying their venomous bites.

HAPPY TRAILS

BLAIR
JUSTIN
DANNY
MAYNARD
ADAM


 
ARCHIVES:
MAR 2014
FEB 2014
JAN 2014
DEC 2013
NOV 2013
OCT 2013
SEP 2013
AUG 2013
JUL 2013
JUN 2013
MAY 2013
APR 2013
MAR 2013
FEB 2013
JAN 2013
DEC 2012
NOV 2012
OCT 2012
SEP 2012
AUG 2012
JUL 2012
JUN 2012
MAY 2012
APR 2012
MAR 2012
FEB 2012
JAN 2012
DEC 2011
NOV 2011
OCT 2011
SEP 2011
AUG 2011
JUL 2011
JUN 2011
MAY 2011
APR 2011
MAR 2011
FEB 2011
JAN 2011
DEC 2010
NOV 2010
OCT 2010
SEP 2010
AUG 2010
JUL 2010
JUN 2010
MAY 2010
APR 2010
MAR 2010
FEB 2010
JAN 2010
DEC 2009
NOV 2009
OCT 2009
SEP 2009
AUG 2009
JUL 2009
JUN 2009
MAY 2009
APR 2009
MAR 2009
FEB 2009
JAN 2009
DEC 2008
NOV 2008
OCT 2008
SEP 2008
AUG 2008
JUL 2008
JUN 2008
MAY 2008
APR 2008
MAR 2008
FEB 2008
JAN 2008
DEC 2007
NOV 2007
OCT 2007
SEP 2007
AUG 2007
JUL 2007
JUN 2007
MAY 2007
APR 2007
MAR 2007
FEB 2007
JAN 2007
DEC 2006
NOV 2006
OCT 2006
SEP 2006
AUG 2006
JUL 2006
JUN 2006
MAY 2006
APR 2006
MAR 2006
FEB 2006
JAN 2006
NOV 2005
OCT 2005
SEP 2005
AUG 2005
JUL 2005
JUN 2005
MAY 2005
APR 2005
FEB 2005
JAN 2005
DEC 2004
NOV 2004
OCT 2004
AUG 2004
JUL 2004
JUN 2004
MAY 2004
APR 2004
MAR 2004
FEB 2004
JAN 2004
DEC 2003
NOV 2003
OCT 2003
SEP 2003
AUG 2003
JUL 2003
JUN 2003
MAY 2003
APR 2003
MAR 2003
FEB 2003
JAN 2003
DEC 2002
NOV 2002
OCT 2002
SEP 2002
JUL 2002
JUN 2002
MAY 2002
APR 2002
MAR 2002
FEB 2002
JAN 2002
DEC 2001
NOV 2001
OCT 2001
SEP 2001
AUG 2001
JUN 2001
MAY 2001
APR 2001
MAR 2001
FEB 2001
JAN 2001
DEC 2000
NOV 2000
OCT 2000
SEP 2000
AUG 2000
JUL 2000
MAY 2000