TOOL NEWSLETTER
MARCH 2008, E.V.


E-MAIL

SUBJECT: ROLLING STONE

QUESTION: “Hey Blair, I’m sure you’ve received emails about this, but just in case you haven’t… a Rolling Stone journalist said he did shots of Patron with Danny and Maynard at the Grammys and they told him there is a new album in the works. My heart skipped a beat when I read it. Do you have any insight to this rumor?”

REPLY: If Danny and/or Maynard told the guy that there was a new (Tool) album in the works, than who am I to say that it’s not so? However, I can’t help but wonder if these were decoy band members that attended the Grammys, or, even if they were the actual band members, was this record they were referring to merely a decoy album? As a de-facto ambassador (with or without the white robe of a Fair Witness), keep in mind what I wrote in the January 17th newsletter – namely that if you were to go looking for a band member on the Red Carpet, you better watch out not only for a large Venerian Dragon with a cockney lisp, but for SnARKS that are boojums! Still, if they really are dusting off the dry-erase ‘arrangement’ board over at the rehearsal space, perhaps it’s once again time to remove the violet silk wrap of my faux bird’s-eye maple deluxe edition ‘talking board’ and summon Obelisong, the “pleasant deliverer” of some ’10,000 Days” tidbits a couple of years ago. Better yet, what do you say we just wait and see what unfolds over the next few months? Any pertinent news shall be posted in a timely fashion.

SUBJECT: TOOL & ROCK BAND

QUESTION: “I have been a faithful Tool fan for years now. They have inspired me in so many ways different ways. My question is do they have a problem with letting the makers of Rock Band add them to their DLC of music? I would love to sing along with Maynard and play along with Danny. I have bought their albums so many times it makes me sick to my stomach. In total I have purchased Lateralus seven times because of a loss of cd or stolen. Opiate and the other albums have been played so much they won’t play anymore so I just buy another copy. Please convince them to allow the makers of Rock Band to add their music so us fans can sing along to the music.”

REPLY: I hear you, dude. Sure beats the hell out of strumming a badminton racket without a whammy bar, pounding cookie tins, or trying to use an empty roll of toilet paper covered with aluminum foil as a microphone. Believe me, I’ve been desperately trying to convince them ever since the game came out… calling… emailing… sending text messages… calling.

Yep, we’re on the same page, bro… “Guitar Hero”/karaoke…. love it all! And how about all those people wasting their f***ing time trying to learn how to play a real instrument! Or write an original song! Virtual, baby, virtual band… that’s where it’s at… Instrument peripherals and over-f***in-drive score multipliers! Those squiggly-looking things scrolling on the screen… Badass tattoos… adjustable hair and body physiques… Don’t know about you, but I’m currently on a world tour, playing endless set lists and spending tons of cash in the rock shop. All I can say is that hopefully someday the guys in the band will give their consent, and then we’ll all be rocking out in the irised spotlight! I know I’d be all over that like dingleberries on an armless… Oh… also, dude, you might want to put the band’s music on an iPod or something… an MP3 player, seeing how you keep having to buy new cds and stuff.

(Note: If anyone detects a hint of sarcasm, it’s only because I suspect the e-mailer might just be the president of MTV Games, or who ever it is that makes Rock Band. Nice f***ing try guy).

SUBJECT: JUST WONDERING

QUESTION: “Where does MJK come up with his verses? Interesting.”

REPLY: With regards to the Venerian Dragon named Sir Isaac Newton, what I didn’t mention, however, is that, in a pouch under his voder, it had spectacles that “see through the thickest mist.” These, I’m told (see “The Number of the Beast” by Robert A. Heinlein) were invented by his friend, Professor Wogglebug. Now, as many of you know, Wogglebug (who can’t swim, by the way) also invented (and patented) certain little tablets of learning that are to be eaten after a meal (preferably with a glass of golden Arizona sunshine congealed into purple tears) so that one may be taught things almost instantaneously (thereby allowing time for other, more recreational, things), Among the assortment of these tablets of learning is one that teaches how to write in a beautiful hand, and when combined with the spectacles… well… you see. Good thing for Tool enthusiasts that he didn’t eat the ones for boating and algebra! So there you have it… little tablets of learning that teach one things “in the twinkling of an eye.” I was going to say “in the shower”, but the truth should be known…

SUBJECT: S1t2a3r585w3a3r1s. TOPSECRET?

“I believe I have found a connection with the timings of the three albums "Aenima", "Lateralus", and "10000 Days" and the three Star Wars films "A New Hope", "The Empire Strikes Back", and "Return of the Jedi". The timings are as follows:

28:31 Track 10.
39:31 Track 3.
58:31 Track 2.
126:49 Track 8.
115:49 Track 10.
145:13 Track 5.
147:13 Track 5.
155:05 Track5.

10000 Days: Return of the Jedi.
Lateralus: Empire Strikes Back.
Aenima: A New Hope.

I have watched them all over again and again, and each time I find new match ups between the two. Does any of this mean anything to you? Or am I just a Tool fanatic searching for clues where there are none to be found?

  P.S. If there really is a connection, do you want me to keep it a secret?”

REPLY: What, you a Tool fanatic? No way! You don’t at all strike me as the type who would join a fan site just for a chance at concert post-sales. I know that some people will tell you that any connections between albums, Tool or otherwise (i.e. the Dark Side of Oz effect), that sync up with films are purely coincidental rather than intentional, but I’m not one of them. About the synchronicity of the Tool albums with Star Wars films, the answer is a resounding… yes. And yes, you should keep it a secret. You must keep it a secret. Now, I want you to turn off your CD player and TV… go outside in the sun and look at the hill. It’s so beautiful.

SUBJECT: TOOL TOWELS

QUESTION: “I just woke from my usual afternoon nap and had an epiphany: Why don’t Tool make some beach towels or bath towels for their fans/shop. What a wonderful idea I thought to myself imagining the 10,000 Days ‘head’ on my black and white towel alongside their current logo… (I would gladly forgo credit for a free one as thanks for thinking of the idea). Awesome.”

REPLY: Shame you weren’t around when Van Halen was… well… before Valerie was a corporate shill for Jenny. Would you settle for a nice lenticular keychain?

SUBJECT: BLU-RAY

COMMENT: “Many people want a live concert blu-ray.”

REPLY: Okay, who’s on your wish list? John Mayer? Michael Buble? Dixie Chicks.?..

SUBJECT: 10,000 DAYS… SATURN

QUESTION: “The Saturn year is approximately 10,000 Days long. Saturn is often symbolized as aspiritual essence that demands the utmost potential out of the person, and the removal of the ego. I think Tool is trying to create the "Great Work", to help humans guide onto a higher plane of consciousness. Saturn comes back around to let us know if we are fucking up, in the form of revelation and difficult questions. I think this is very much connected to 10,000 days, in the urgency to remove the ego and recognize that we are all one with everything and everyone else. Once we all can reach this state of understanding, we will realize that there is no need for monetary or religious institutions, furthermore freeing mankind from the common burdens of existence. Removal of Ego, recognizing all as one, rejuvenate as a more proficient, highly evolved, self-generating organism... or face complete destruction. I think Lateralus and 10,000 days tell the same story in different depths. Please let me know how far off base I am.”

REPLY: You’re thinking… Perhaps, not as much as the person with the Tool beach towel, but you’re thinking. Much appreciated.

SUBJECT: IJYNX, DMT & JAYNES

QUESTION: “I noticed that your book is no longer in the Tool shop. Is there anywhere else I might find it? Also, would you care to recommend any other books, sites, or articles relating to the release of DMT in the brain other than Strassman's? You mentioned in the SubRosa article certain frequencies attainable by meditation that might facilitate this release. I don't have the means to access an EEG device, but I have been experimenting with binaural beats and the Brainwave Generator program. Would these frequencies fall within the Theta/Delta range (<7 Hz)? This brings to mind Julian Jayne's The Origin Of Consciousness In The Breakdown Of The Bicameral Mind and "the veil" between the two hemispheres of the brain. A response to one or all of these questions would be much appreciated.”

REPLY: While in the process of moving, I recently found a few mint (unopened) copies of “Ijynx” and I believe they might now be in the store on the Tool site. With regard to any frequencies that act as tryptamine triggers, in a forthcoming publication I discuss a series of magical operations that were designed to ‘trick’ the brain into releasing certain endogenous tryptamines. For now, I’ll just say that the mechanics of the ritual (sonic and visualization techniques, etc.) were specifically timed to coincide with the minima of the famous eclipsing binary star ALGOL (Beta Persei), and involved the Operator projecting one’s self into the astronomical constellation “Triangulum.” However, along with the instructions comes a warning about ‘tampering’ with the autonomic nervous system, and how the greatest precautions should be taken (remember what Crowley cryptically wrote in “LIBER LI” – “If you pay sufficient attention to your heart, you will make it palpitate.”)

As for Julian Jaynes’ book, some interesting ideas can also be found in “The Lost Secret of Death: Our Divided Souls and the Afterlife” by Peter Novak, but these don’t involve any means by which to release the ‘mother load.’ That you seek.

SUBJECT: DANNY’S SHIRT

QUESTION: “There is a picture of Danny (by Rynne) posted on the 12th of Feb and he has a cool shirt with all these cool leaves of my favorite plant on it. Every year my work has a luau with a Hawaiian shirt contest. I have been trying to find such a shirt so that I can win this contest. Please help!”

REPLY: He found it in the garment district in downtown L.A. Long long ago in a galaxy far far away a certain female someone was giving Danny a bit of grief about not wearing a dress shirt when out to dinner at a restaurant (instead of the more casual tee that he normally wore), and that shirt was his rather ingenious response.

SUBJECT: DANNY= FIVE

QUESTION: “Even the shirt in the latest picture has five leaves (coincidence?). I noticed that the pictures in the cd booklet were #'d up to six, but unsure why. The last newsletter and accompanying picture may be the clue I was looking for. Oriented 90 degress off, using the arrows on the arms as a guide, the doodle appears to be someone sitting down, with a circle around the hand, and the five marks indicate (possibly) page five would be a good place to start. I also noticed the true-lines pointing to the blue towel, and possibly the initials DC in the head of the folded pencil. I can't tell what's in his hand yet, but I'll be attempting to find out. Anyway, having a great time...two weeks out from my latest shoulder surgery and I have extra time on my hands. I always enjoy a good newsletter. Sorry if this sounded disoriented. I'm a little fuzzy from the meds and lack of sleep/proper diet.”

REPLY: While it is true that I was attempting to communicate something with that photo, the damn “blue towel” that you mention inexplicably lit up a jay and kept moving ‘out of place’, all the while mumbling something about “not knowing what was going on…”

SUBJECT: TIBETAN SINGING BOWLS

QUESTION: “A while back you mentioned something about a Tibetan bowls CD and that a combination of unusual metals were used in them. I can’t find that anymore. Could you direct me to the right place?”

REPLY: Yes, I know, clicking on the ‘past news archives’ is quite a hassle. The CD is entitled “PRANAH” by Mark Biehl. Coincidently enough, Mark has written an article about Tibetan singing bowls in the Spring (current) issue of “Light of Consciousness” magazine (available at the big chains such as Borders, Barnes & Noble, etc). Even more info about the CD can be found at Mark’s website . I’m certainly NOT suggesting that anyone actually does this, but wouldn’t it be fun to break into your typical ‘top 40’ AM radio station and force the DJ to play a CD that features 60 + minutes of Tibetan singing bowls (without saying anything) to it’s pop audience! Same with something like ELP’s “Toccata” from “Brain Salad Surgery” (on repeat, of course). Just dreaming…

SUBJECT: JAYWALKING TICKETS

QUESTION: “How much was the jaywalking ticket that you and Danny got?”

REPLY: As I wrote on the check: One hundred and twenty-three dollars and not one goddamn cent more.

SUBJECT: ADJUSTING THE REFLECTOSIGHT IN THE SANCTUM SANCTORUM

QUESTION: “What are the dimensions of your "reflecto-sight" or is an object that isn't 3-dimensional? Also, would you be willing to describe the set up that the band has in their own sanctum sanctorum? A couple friends and I have been interested in the concept of "sacred space" where higher beings are able to cross onto our plane of existence? Is there any particular items that help to attract certain beings and conversely, any particular items that help to deter certain beings? Thank you and Much Help,”

REPLY: Sorry, but both my reflecto-sight and the band’s are more secret than the burgers on the menu at “FireFly.” Suffice it to say, my beamish friend, if any entities appear on a scorcher of a day bearing black Popsicles, they shall immediately be banished to their place of origin, if you get my meaning.

SUBJECT: DVD SUBJECT: LAYERS OF DIMENSIONS

COMMENT: “Can one "see" those who traverse out of this conscience dimension, the milliseconds that it takes to ease the synapse reaction time, perhaps, to move back and enter that millimeter of regression, and still exist in both dimensions? Is the presence of this ability the driving force of conscience, while society feeds us only the constant regression of logic to keep at bay those with this ability? As a form of population control? If the true potential of interdimensional travel, ie existing in both realms which in turn drives multidimensional levels of "presence" is pushes consciousness the millimeter it needs to receive and grow, then why have multi-dimensional creatures as the snark, infiltrated more of the continuum? Is it a "hidden" gem inside our minds capability? Could we then "mirror" this idea through a man made machine to speed past the speed of light which "enters" the millimeter it needs to traverse the next "layer" of dimensional reality. This might also explain all of those right angle crafts seen over Groom Lake. Re-entering "this dimension" via extreme speed but a milli-second behind. Happening so fast it only "appears" to happen in "real time" Interesting to say the least Mr. Blake. Very interesting.”

REPLY: All I can say is: watch out the next time someone sits down by you at the bar and orders a “coke and olives.”

SUBJECT: ‘NEIL’ HAMBURGER

QUESTION: “Where can I find a decent chili dog in L.A? I don’t like tough ‘snappy’ dogs like those served at “Pink’s” or elsewhere in this palm-infested dystopia. I’m looking for something old school like Dog N Suds or James Coney Island. Do you have a clue or am I going to have to install a continua widget in a taxi and set the verniers for 1970s Nova Scotia?”

REPLY: I don’t know what this has to do with the band, but frankly (hehe) I’ve been wondering the same thing. Wondering on an almost daily basis. Hopefully someone out there can enlighten ‘both’ of us? (Note: I sometimes reply to my own e-mail sent to the site.)

SUBJECT: SOLUTION TO PUZZLE

COMMENT: “Quetzalcoatl is returning, closing the great cycle and foreshadowing the completion of the Great Work. What is false will die so Truth can be born.”

REPLY: Looks like someone read “A Psychedelic Apocalypse” by Daniel Pinchbeck in “DARKLORE, VOLUME 1.” Well, for those of us who plan on getting married on December 22, 2012 e.v., I certainly hope not. What ever happened to a good old- fashioned doomsday scenario? Like my coffee, I’ll take my doomsday black and without sugar…

SUBJECT: TOOL IN IRAQ

QUESTION: “Blair, while enjoying beers at my favorite (soon to be no more) watering hole over the weekend, a gentleman who claimed to be a marine told me that he recently saw TOOL in Iraq. I had never heard about this show. While I can believe that this show wasn't reported in the media, or on this site, I find it hard to believe that I would not have read something of the show on this site-unless of course it happend in another dimension. Was this casual acquaintance pulling my leg, or will you please confirm that the show did occur?”

REPLY: If he wasn’t pulling your leg, my best guess is that the guy saw the band perform in Turkey (rather than in another dimension – Marines in another dimension… wouldn’t that be the Navy?), but, I’m curious, did he happen to mention anything about seeing any 10,000 Days posters in that city - posters containing a certain anomaly? Also, I’m fairly certain that if the band performed in Iraq, I’d mention it (albeit briefly) on the site. Same with the band playing in another dimension, as I’ve already done (ala post-sale tickets!) in the past.

Well, that’s all that I have time for now. The weather’s lovely here in southern California and I’m off to the beach with the (first) prototype decoy Tool towel…

HAPPY TRAILS

BLAIR
JUSTIN
DANNY
MAYNARD
ADAM


 
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