TOOL NEWSLETTER
FEBRUARY 2009, E.V.


It now appears that the lengthy e-mail that I received from Barack Obama (see TOOL NEWSLETTER, DECEMBER 2008 e.v.) was actually written by a member of the “Tool Collective” who was impersonating the (then) President-elect in a misguided attempt to convince me (or a high level administrator) to change the format of the newsletters posted on the site. I learned that “one of our own” was responsible for the deception from a note that was placed inside a sealed box of “Quisp” cereal that I received in the mail on January 17th. Although the package was sent anonymously, written with a purple “magic marker” on the outside of the cereal box was a cheerful “HAPPY PRESIDENTS” DAY.” Beneath the depiction of a “quazy” pink alien, the person signed “HOCHSTETTER.”

In addition to certain details about the suspect e-mail, the note also contained the imposter’s ToolArmy identity. A quick check of recent postings on the TA message boards by this individual was enough to convince me that the whistle-blower was correct as to his/her accusations. I guess I should have known all along. Further research on my part shows that President Obama isn’t even that much of a Tool fan, preferring, instead, Dylan, the Stones, and Stevie Wonder (although I’ll give him credit for listening to Miles Davis back in those days of getting baked with bong-bingers and dancing with the white lady). Despite those who would seek to take advantage of the ‘turning of the page’ for personal benefit, in keeping with the new positive attitude sweeping the nation, as well as my vow to include more news about the band itself (as opposed to the various subjects of interest to the four members and/or their close circle of friends), here’s what I was able to come up with for the February 2009 e.v. issue:

ADAM
is currently working on several big projects, all of which he’d prefer not be made public for the time being.

MAYNARD
just returned home from more successful wine signings at Whole Foods markets (thank you!). His band PUSCIFER will be performing at CLUB NOKIA in Los Angeles on April 4th. No word as of yet about an added show.

JUSTIN
is visiting his family and friends in England, but should be returning to the states any day now. A couple of weeks ago he and Danny jammed at the loft, and this, I am told, was very productive.

DANNY
is busy working on a couple of side projects that are also under wraps. What I can divulge (I think) is that he was recently interviewed (filmed) for a forthcoming “Rush” documentary. On Friday, March 6th, he will be performing at THE KNITTING FACTORY in Hollywood with his band VOLTO!

With all of the things going on in ‘realms supersensible’, as it were, sometimes it’s just easier to attempt spirit communications via the Enochia for the divulgation of certain information that the band members and their management are reluctant to discuss. One night when not hanging out with friends at the Fox & Hounds pub - a place that I call frequently, drink moderately, pay honorably, part friendly, and go home quietly – I brought out some temple furniture, including a black skrying mirror (see Danny’s stereoscopic photo in the “10,000 DAYS” CD packaging) in order to conduct a séance. In that it seemed as if EXARP had gone fishing for the day, I decided to take my chances with an elemental spirit from the Elemental Tablet of Water (from the Earth of Water subangle).

Using my usual skrying technique to encourage the spirit to manifest itself, it wasn’t long before the opalescent shifting in the black speculum revealed the form of an astral elemental. This figure appeared as a fairly normal looking human male with silvering hair, wearing a purple toga embroidered with gold thread. Upon its head was a laurel crown, and its feet were shod with Roman footwear of the calceus type. There seemed to be a blurry circus-like event going on in the background, but, over the course of the session, this was never clearly defined. Unlike the more normal procedure of using a rod to point to letters arranged in squares, the unnamed being hovered over the blades of 23 daggers. Picking these daggers up one at a time, the figure used them to point to 23 letters of the Enochian alphabet. The first word that was spelled by receiving the letters in the normal reverse manner was “OL”, meaning “I, myself.” The second word turned out to be “SONF”, which is translated from the Enochian or Angelic language into English as “reign” or “rule.” Next came “VAORSAGI”, a word that means “over you.” Placed together, this reads quite simply, “I reign over you.”

Although this seemed somewhat promising, there was a problem with the forth and final word that was slowly (!) revealed before the mirror clouded over. The problem was that the word, “SILITNIUQ”, although at first glance looks like an Enochian word, it actually isn’t (at least it couldn’t be found in any of my Enochian dictionaries*). In consulting these, the closest word I could find was “SOLAMIANU”, which means “whose [long] continuance.” However, this isn’t the word that was spelled out, and therefore must be discounted. So, for now, “SILITNIUQ” would appear to be gibberish, and as such, the séance appears to offer little in the way of a message. Even so, I include it here in the event that someone else can make sense of it. Perhaps that which I was hoping to be made public is, for the time being, still meant to be veiled from mortal vision. But if someone is able to fathom a meaning from the experiment, keeping in mind that such elementals are notorious tricksters, please shout it out from the top of a mountain, rather than writing it on a scrap of paper and placing it inside a box of “Quisp” that’s mailed to you know who.

* Y and J in place of I were also tried, as was V and W in place of U.

HAPPY TRAILS

BLAIR
JUSTIN
DANNY
MAYNARD
ADAM


 
ARCHIVES:
NOV 2014
OCT 2014
SEP 2014
AUG 2014
JUL 2014
JUN 2014
MAY 2014
APR 2014
MAR 2014
FEB 2014
JAN 2014
DEC 2013
NOV 2013
OCT 2013
SEP 2013
AUG 2013
JUL 2013
JUN 2013
MAY 2013
APR 2013
MAR 2013
FEB 2013
JAN 2013
DEC 2012
NOV 2012
OCT 2012
SEP 2012
AUG 2012
JUL 2012
JUN 2012
MAY 2012
APR 2012
MAR 2012
FEB 2012
JAN 2012
DEC 2011
NOV 2011
OCT 2011
SEP 2011
AUG 2011
JUL 2011
JUN 2011
MAY 2011
APR 2011
MAR 2011
FEB 2011
JAN 2011
DEC 2010
NOV 2010
OCT 2010
SEP 2010
AUG 2010
JUL 2010
JUN 2010
MAY 2010
APR 2010
MAR 2010
FEB 2010
JAN 2010
DEC 2009
NOV 2009
OCT 2009
SEP 2009
AUG 2009
JUL 2009
JUN 2009
MAY 2009
APR 2009
MAR 2009
FEB 2009
JAN 2009
DEC 2008
NOV 2008
OCT 2008
SEP 2008
AUG 2008
JUL 2008
JUN 2008
MAY 2008
APR 2008
MAR 2008
FEB 2008
JAN 2008
DEC 2007
NOV 2007
OCT 2007
SEP 2007
AUG 2007
JUL 2007
JUN 2007
MAY 2007
APR 2007
MAR 2007
FEB 2007
JAN 2007
DEC 2006
NOV 2006
OCT 2006
SEP 2006
AUG 2006
JUL 2006
JUN 2006
MAY 2006
APR 2006
MAR 2006
FEB 2006
JAN 2006
NOV 2005
OCT 2005
SEP 2005
AUG 2005
JUL 2005
JUN 2005
MAY 2005
APR 2005
FEB 2005
JAN 2005
DEC 2004
NOV 2004
OCT 2004
AUG 2004
JUL 2004
JUN 2004
MAY 2004
APR 2004
MAR 2004
FEB 2004
JAN 2004
DEC 2003
NOV 2003
OCT 2003
SEP 2003
AUG 2003
JUL 2003
JUN 2003
MAY 2003
APR 2003
MAR 2003
FEB 2003
JAN 2003
DEC 2002
NOV 2002
OCT 2002
SEP 2002
JUL 2002
JUN 2002
MAY 2002
APR 2002
MAR 2002
FEB 2002
JAN 2002
DEC 2001
NOV 2001
OCT 2001
SEP 2001
AUG 2001
JUN 2001
MAY 2001
APR 2001
MAR 2001
FEB 2001
JAN 2001
DEC 2000
NOV 2000
OCT 2000
SEP 2000
AUG 2000
JUL 2000
MAY 2000