TOOL: NEWSLETTER

TOOL NEWSLETTER
NOVEMBER 2012, E.V.

Oddly enough, I’m sorry to report, not a lot of progress was made this month with regards to any Tool writing sessions at the loft. In fact, for all but the first week in November (when some progress was made), all of the band members have been elsewhere – though they are expected to be back hard at work come December 3rd (2012). Although I’m not sure what multi-tasker MAYNARD has been up to as of late (other than running a winery, organizing things for his other bands, and envisaging future endeavors, I’m guessing), I can tell you that ADAM is still off pheasant hunting in England’s green and pleasant lands (or is he studying oil painting amongst those dark Satanic mills?). I can also tell you that both JUSTIN and DANNY are currently enjoying the scenery in Hawaii, hopefully discussing riffs, arrangements and album titles at the same time they are served opakapaka with purple potatoes. Anyone else experiencing déjà vu?

As far as any other Tool news goes, some of you have probably seen the on-line flyer that has the band performing at Ozzfest in Japan in May of 2013. As of my writing this, I have NOT been told that this is confirmed, so you’ll just have to rely on your own good judgment for the time being. Something to consider, though: Has anyone actually physically held this new Ozzfest poster? It could be Photoshopped, couldn’t it? Plus, when I last saw the world-renowned entomologist Rance Q. Spartley (whose existence, whether real or fictional or an in-between tulpa, is an important part of my on-going therapy as a bonafide arachnophobe), while seeking his expertise on behalf of the band (?), I had a different, more critter invested place in mind (Japan lacking in such venomous threats – unless, that is, you count Mothra). But before you start spreading Pepsodent behind your ears as a possible deterrent, again, I have NOT received anything that could be considered official about any shows on this aqueous gem in the cosmos. Should any news about this become available, I will certainly be sure that it is trumpeted post haste. So keep checking back.

Yet another reason to watch the site is that while at a Lakers’ game a couple of weeks ago, an oracle told me to expect lots of news in the coming weeks. So far, nothing much has come my way, but when it does… I don’t think it will have anything to do with TOOL’s NEXT RECORD (gotcha!), as they are still involved in the writing process (which I already said). Nor will it be about any stocking stuffer TOOL LIVE DVD (gotcha again!), which I haven’t heard anything about for eons. What this news will be about, however, should be exciting to many Tool enthusiasts. In the meantime, MERCH is about to put a few new items in the store – one being a HOODIE (called “ENTAPHIOSIS”), with the others being two decorative PILLOWS containing Tool-themed artwork. Unique gifts just in time for the holiday season! (Even if you don’t believe in a dancing groundhog throwing confetti.) And speaking of holiday cheer, I hope to have the DECEMBER NEWSLETTER posted sometime early next week (after all, with the Mayan doomsday looming, a New York City cop showing random kindness, and that sitcom doofus going squirrelly, who has the time to wait?).