TOOL NEWSLETTER
FEBRUARY 2007, E.V.


QUESTIONS ABOUT DANNY & THE RESCHEDULED TOUR

Lots of you have been asking just how Danny tore his [right] bicep. Some thought the injury occurred while he was playing basketball, with others wondering if he damaged it out on the golf course, or, worse still, in a motorcycle accident. Well, the truth of the matter is that he tangled with the wrong boxer. Although the guy in question (some of you might have even seen him fight) is pretty old now (at least, he’s not in his prime as boxers go), he obviously got the best of Danny when this all went down a couple of weeks ago. And, as is often the case with these things, a girl was involved. As it turns out, Danny’s girlfriend happens to be very close to this guy, even having him move in with them. Still, everything was going just fine until the incident that resulted in the serious injury.

DANNY WANTS TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT

Last night up at Danny’s house, as I prepared some chicken vindaloo for a few close friends (with a little too much lemon, perhaps), Rynne suggested that I mention on the website exactly what happened, and even post a photo of the boxer guy. “So, you want me to set the record straight, huh?” “Yes, I think you should” she said. Danny agreed, and told me that he’d e-mail me a photo of the guy before going to bed that night. “Okay, I’ll do it… just as long as you don’t mind”, I said, “but I’m not sure what people are going to think.”

As you can well imagine Danny is still in considerable pain, but on the way to the Lakers/Celtics game a couple of nights ago (I might be driving him around and cooking Indian food with too much lemon juice in it, but I’m not shooting hoops at the gym and turning pages of the “Azoetia” – those jobs are still open if anyone’s interested!), he mentioned to me when HE thought the tour would be rescheduled. This was off the record (as I suggested it should be until I heard from his manager), but without giving any actual time-frame, I can say that, baring any further calamity, such as all the blind spots of a purple [er, Viola Ophelia] Murciealgo, the SAN ANTONIO CURSE!, an attack by a killer Savannah named “Pharaoh”, or unforeseen circumstances that both our newly-acquired Almuchefi and newly-installed psychomantium won’t show, it’s much better than what a lot of you are thinking (in reading the posts on the message boards). Danny has a good doctor it seems – at least I was told that the guy actually invented (and patented) the screw that’s now holding things together in his arm. So, no more Def Leppard (some French drummer, I assume), Josh Freese or Meg White comments please!!! But, getting back to the altercation with that boxer (Amos being his name) that Danny lifted up in a most awkward way, put him on a wanted poster, will you San Antonio!

HERE’S THE CULPRIT!

Um, because the photo editor that I wanted hasn't been designed yet, try to imagine a picture of an adorable canine BOXER placed here.

SNAPPY TAILS... or

HAPPY TRAILS

BLAIR
JUSTIN
DANNY
MAYNARD
ADAM


 
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